I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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