A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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