I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
