Its about making memories worth repressing
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
