those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
