D3 body, D1 cock
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
