his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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