ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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