Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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