Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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