I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
