I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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