i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
