I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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