i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
