I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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