whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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