Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
