Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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