I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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