I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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