I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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