apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
