so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
