We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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