I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
