This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
