I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
