We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
