do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
