This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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