just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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