She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
