Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
