my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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