Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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