I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
