And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
