There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
