I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
