Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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