I have demons in me.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
