She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
