He asked to "fluff my boner.."
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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