I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
