They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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