What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
