Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
that's an acceptable place to lick
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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