Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
