well you can't waste a boner
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
