2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
